Santa is shocked by the number of statinators on his naughty list!

Ok, I know I don’t usually share poetry on here, but this is an uber awesome poem from our friend Tom Naughton. I want this framed… and a copy for my wallet… and maybe one for my fridge. I should give a copy to my doctor as well. *insert evil smile*

‘Twas The Night Before Statins

Just something funny for the parents out there. Enjoy!

Pregnancy Q & A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes , in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.